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Grieving Personal Wounds
While recently at a men’s conference on sexual addiction, the group I was facilitating had been processing the relationship between personal wounds and sexually acting-out. While it is often exciting to watch men reconnect with their hearts and risk vulnerability by sharing painful experiences, I encountered quite a bit of resistance from the group. Men often ask me what the purpose of "rehashing" the past, "blaming" one's parents, or they will give me a monologue on "choices" and "personal responsibility." Their questions are fair and deserve answers, but to miss the issues behind them is to miss the heart of the man that asks.
Some wounds leave us so deeply injured that even looking at them can be terrifying. We are not only afraid of hurting again, but of whatever unknown we may dread finding. Sadly, we trade God's healing touch for the certainty of the mundanely dulled and bruised heart. To us, this can feel better than the dread of having our hearts split open, spilling into our own consciousness or for others to see. But whether we acknowledge it or not, we still bleed from within. This is why our addictions have kept us in bondage for so many years. Willingly and sometimes happily, through acting-out, we turned our backs on our own hearts as they bleed from within.
Acknowledging a wounded heart is not "rehashing," "blaming" or skirting "responsibility" for our own actions/transgressions. When we acknowledge our wounded-ness we ARE taking responsibility for our hearts, and that honors God. Acknowledgement moves us closer to truly surrendering these wounds to God so He may begin to heal them. God patiently respects our unwillingness to acknowledge wounds, for a while. Fortunately he also loves us enough, that in our unwillingness, he allows crisis to bring us face-to-face with our wounds and our transgressions.
For many men struggling with sexual addiction, a crisis of truth may take the form of

having one's transgressions exposed. While this is usually humiliating, I frequently remind couple's of God's graciousness and his heart for them. A loving Father does not allow his son/daughter to continue in sin indefinitely without confrontation. Being brought to a crisis of truth is an opportunity and chance for redemption. For some, it may not be possible to reconcile a broken marriage, but for many others it is still possible. Regardless of what is lost, a chance is given to reconcile with God and with self. Reconciliation with self can never happen without an honest look at one's wounds.
Healing wounds can start with resistance. Like any other feeling, resistance can tell you something about yourself. If you feel defensive or resistant about an issue, you may actually be afraid to address it. Your resistance may be telling you to dig deeper and deal with some specifics of an issue. It is not "rehashing," but addressing the issue or wound. You may have a pattern of acting-out sexually to deal with the wound. If you are taking responsibility for your wound by addressing it honestly, you cannot be "blaming." God will honor your efforts to take responsibility and will graciously see you through the process of healing your wounds, if you let him (Rom 8:28).
Copyright 2004 Bob Parkins, LMFT - all rights reserved

About the Author: Bob Parkins, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Fair Oaks, CA. Bob works with individuals, couples, groups, and families to help them heal from emotional wounds and the symptoms they cause. Bob Parkins, LMFT facilitates a weekly men's group for sexual addiction. Visit Bob's at http://www.bobparkinslmft.com/ Source: www.isnare.com

Tags: drug and alcohol addiction, gambling, stop smoking, eating, food disorders

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Giving Up In Dealing With Your Fears Is Not An Option
Your fears, anxieties, and other problems have the best of you and you don’t know where to turn for help. At some point you feel totally helpless as you struggle each day. What do you do?
As a layman and an author of a Managing Fear book, there were times that my fears had the best of me. Through these experiences, there is one thing that I learned. You can’t hide or runaway from your fears.
Taking drugs, drinking, or other addictions will not take away your problems and fears. In the short run, they will make you feel better but in the long run these addictions will only make things worse.
So what do you do to make your problems and fears go away? Well, since you can’t runaway from them, then the best solution is to tackle your fears head on no matter how strong they may be. The key is to be smart in how you try to manage these fears. Here are some ways in how to manage your persistent fears and anxieties.
Take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.
Learn how to manage your fearful thoughts that may be difficult to manage. When experiencing a negative thought, read some positive statements and affirmations that help lift your spirits and make you feel better. Remember that your fearful thoughts may be exaggerated so balance these thoughts with realistic thinking and common sense.
Take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can

help you manage your fears and anxieties. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. By talking to a professional, a person will be helping themselves in the long run because they will become better able to deal with their problems in the future. Managing your fears and anxieties takes practice. The more you practice, the better you will become.
When managing your fears and anxieties do not try to tackle everything at once. The best solution is to break your fears or problems into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.
Managing your fears and anxieties will take some hard work. Trying to avoid you problems will do nothing in getting rid of your fears and anxieties. Sooner or later, you will have to confront your fears and anxieties. Remember that all you can do is to do your best each day, hope for the best, and take things in stride. Patience, persistence, education, and being committed in trying to solve your problem will go along way in fixing your problems.

About the Author: Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods”-a book that presents a overview of techniques in managing Fear. For more info go to: http://www.managingfear.com For free articles on managing fear please go to: http://www.managingfear.com Source: www.isnare.com

Tags: addictions, gambling, compulsive behavior, eating, shopping

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Getting to the Bottom of Addiction Myths
There are many myths about addictions. This is my attempt to clear a few of them up.

One myth that is pretty popular is the one claiming that positive addictions are good for you. There is no such thing as a positive addiction, addictions are self-destructive and always lead to negitive effects.

Myth number 2 and probably the biggest is; Certain substances are addictive. Well this is true if you change that sentence to; Certain substances *can* or *might* be addictive. Ill explain. After surgery, patients are sometimes allowed to self-administer morphine. Morphine is the medical form of heroin. Yet most people who rely on morphine after surgery, don't get addicted to it. Millons of people smoked marijuana. Relatively few who use it, use it to the point of abuse. Almost everyone has had a drink before. But few acually become alcoholics because if it. Or what about sex? 99 percent of us have sex at one time in our lives, and many of us have sex constantly but we dont develop an addiction. And finally millions of people have experimented with cocaine, crack and other hard drugs. Many become addicts, but not everyone.

The point is that people dont nessacarly become addicted to a substance becasue of the substance, but becasue of thier choice. We all have made a choice about substances. Most of us have tried one form or another of an 'addictive' substance or activity, but yet many of us remain addiction free. Although our brains develop addictions becasue of a dependance created by our brains. This dependence is because certian drugs and activities produce iregular levels of chemicals

that make us feel good. Then over time, our bodys stop producing it naturally, and then we crave the drug that re-administers it. Will power and self respect and control are more powerful in the beginning than any addiction. And we all have the ability to change our behaviours. Substances don't take you over and make you act in an addictive fashion any more than: Cars make you drive, and books make you read.

Will anyone who uses an addictive substance too much become addicted? Not nessacarly, resent studies have proven that addiction can be hereditary. We know this does not occur in everyone, any more than diabetes occurs in everyone who eats to much sugar or food. In many cases, genetics is one factor for determining who develops the disorder. Check here for drug abuse rehab information.

Addiction can be hereditary. This myth is slightly true. It is proven that some people have an 'addictive personality' or have certain personality traits that an addict might have. We have linked certain characteristics of genes to addictions and have proven that certain genes are hereditary. Does this mean that addiction IS hereditary? Maybe. There is thousands of people who have had addictions and thier parents have never. Many people have severe addictions and have children, and the children never form any addictions. This being said, ill let you decide if addictions are hereditary.
About the Author

Article source: http://www.online-health-source.info/General-Addiction/Getting-to-the-Bottom-of-Addiction-Myths/

Tags: drug and alcohol, addictions, food disorders, smoking, stop smoking

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Gay Breakups: When the Rainbow Ends
Introduction
“It just hit me out of the blue when Mike left me. We hadn’t really been together all that long, but I thought I’d finally found my true soul mate. Now it’s over and I feel totally rejected, like nobody’s ever going to want me again. It’s so hard finding a decent guy and now I have to start all over again; I don’t know if I can. I feel like a failure at relationships. I just don’t know what to do.” –Eric
“Steve and I broke up after eight years together. The house feels so empty without him and the pain can be so unbearable at times. The loneliness is the worst part for me and it’s like there’s this big hole inside of me, this nagging hurt that won’t go away. I think about him all the time and wonder if I’m ever going to get over him. I’ve never felt more alone and confused in my life.” –Josh
The ending of a relationship, for whatever reason, can be one of the most painful experiences that we can go through. Having made ourselves vulnerable by opening our hearts to another and loving him to the fullest capacity almost feels spiritual; now it’s been replaced with a crushing sense of loss and emptiness that feels quite devastating. The length of time together, the quality of the relationship, and the level of emotional investment in it all determine the intensity of the grief experienced when you and your lover part ways.
This article will explore the grieving process involved with relationship breakups and offer tips and strategies for facilitating your grief to move you toward healing so you can start your life over on better footing.
The Grieving Experience
The experience of breaking up with a boyfriend or partner can be likened to a death, with layer upon layer of losses resulting. Not only is his absent physical presence felt as a loss, but other losses like hopes, dreams, expectations, identity, security, and trust compound and complicate your adjustment. Life as you knew it has been shaken and your vision for your future has been altered. You experience a roller-coaster of emotions. It’s common to feel rejected, abandoned, insecure, powerless, and hopeless. Confusion and feeling a sense of failure and regret are common, as well as varying degrees of anger, depression, and guilt. You might even become preoccupied with your ex-lover, obsessing about him and thinking constantly about your life together and what he might be doing now.
In her book, “Healing A Broken Heart”(1997), Nancy Joy Carroll, ED.D outlines four stages of relationship loss that are common in the aftermath of a breakup. They include the following:
Stage 1: Shock & Denial: This usually occurs immediately after the split-up. You might feel numb, believe that this can’t be happening and minimize the reality of the situation. You feel sad, angry, confused, and might blame yourself.
Stage 2: Despair: You begin to see that the ending is inevitable and experience profound sadness, loneliness, depression, and impaired concentration. You might try to bargain with your partner to try to convince him to give the relationship another chance. You idealize your partner. You feel unlovable, wondering if you can make it on your own, and feel a loss of identity.
Stage 3: Detachment: Anger becomes more pronounced and you begin to hold your partner more responsible for the relationship split. This stage is particularly helpful as your anger helps to create some distance for you from him and you’re not as enmeshed.
Stage 4: Recovery: In this final stage, you come to an acceptance of the loss and learn to “let go”, redefining yourself as a single man again and feel more empowered to cultivate new experiences and opportunities for personal growth.
Tips Along the Grief Path
You are going through a major shift in your identity. Be patient and kind with yourself as you journey through the grieving process. Keep these tips in mind as you forage through the pain you’re experiencing to prevent any blocks or impediments along the path of healing. It can be a rocky road, but staying focused and conscious will promote a smoother and more successful transition to the “new you.”
·Everyone grieves at their own rate and pace; there’s no timeline, so don’t rush yourself. It can sometimes take years.
·As you go through the stages of loss, be aware that healing is not linear. Expect to progress up and down through the stages. Endure through it.
·Avoid stuffing your feelings; be open to them no matter how much it hurts. Suppressing your emotions only puts a temporary band-aid on your suffering and prolongs your healing. It’s ok to cry.
·Avoid self-medicating your feelings. Beware of alcohol, drugs, gambling, work, food, sex, or other vices to comfort yourself during this difficult time. These can distract from your grieving work and become addictions.
·Depression and anxiety are common emotions during this time period. Should their experience interfere with your daily functioning or accomplishment of daily tasks, seek assistance from a license mental health therapist.
·Earlier losses and unfinished business from the past can be triggered when you encounter relationship loss. Be prepared to deal with these as well.
·Avoid making major life decisions. Allow yourself time to get more grounded and centered first. Grief can have a tricky way of

clouding our judgment if not careful.
·Avoid jumping into another relationship right away. Grieve this one completely first.
·Ignore others’ attempts to tell you how you should feel or that you should “be over it by now.” They didn’t live your experience and they are typically projecting their own discomfort with loss and grief.
·Avoid being friends with your ex initially. It’s common for gay men to remain friends with their ex-boyfriends; decide for yourself if this is something that you would be able to do, and if so, allow yourself some time and space first to grieve. It can be very difficult to transition from “life partner” to “just friends” immediately after a breakup. You need time to heal to be able to appropriately view your ex in a new role.
Additional Healing Tips & Strategies
·Provide a daily structure for yourself to keep grounded. Stay busy, but not too busy that you get distracted from your emotional work.
·Get connected with others. Surround yourself with positive, supportive friends and get engaged with life, no matter how hard it is. Join a grief support group in your area to be with others who can share similar circumstances with you and normalize your grief.
·Find a renewed sense of purpose and passion. Join an organization or a cause you care about, take a class, cultivate a new hobby, get involved! Bring healthy pleasure into your life.
·Learn to be comfortable being alone. Do some self-soothing and nurturing activities. Find value in self-renewal.
·Take this opportunity to learn more about yourself. Work with a life coach to help you learn about healthy relationships and crafting a new vision for your future. Recognize patterns in your relationships and identify areas where you can improve your relationship skills.
·Challenge negative self-talk by replacing with more enhancing, affirming, coping thoughts. Identify your strengths and value to boost your self-esteem. Use the power of affirmations and write them on index cards for quick reference.
·Remove items that remind you of your ex-lover and tuck them away somewhere so they’re not a constant visual trigger for you. There will come a time when they won’t be so jarring to you.
·Create a ritual of closure for your relationship (eg. throw a “I’m moving on” party with close friends, etc.) Find a way to commemorate the relationship and what it meant to you to aid in “letting go.”
·Create a scrapbook or collage of memories of your relationship when you’re ready.
·Release your feelings productively. Take out several sheets of paper and at the top of each write an emotion you feel (sad, angry, hurt, resentful, etc.). Then down the side of the full length of the paper, write “I feel…” and fill in the blank about that particular emotion to release all the feelings you have regarding that as it pertains to your relationship grief. Do some self-soothing afterwards.
·Keep a journal or write your ex-lover a letter sharing your feelings and what the relationship meant to you, etc. DO NOT SEND THIS TO YOUR EX! This is for your therapeutic benefit only. Or talk to an empty chair pretending your ex is sitting there and practice processing your emotions this way. This can be extremely cathartic.
Conclusion
Breaking up is hard to do, as an old song once put it. Realize that your pain is a tribute to the significance that this relationship held for you and that you are a survivor. How you choose to deal with the breakup will impact the direction of your life and how soon you will be able to rebuild your life. Identify healthy outlets that you can channel your feelings toward, pinpoint potential blocks that could get in the way of your healing process, and allow yourself to be open to love again when you’re ready. A new beginning with opportunity and possibility awaits you on the other side of the rainbow.
Reference: Carroll, Nancy Joy. Healing A Broken Heart: A Recovery Handbook for Relationship Loss. Brentwood, TN: Life Skills Publications, 1997.
© 2005 Brian L. Rzepczynski
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:
Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the
FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples,as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs,and teleclasses, please visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com.
Please also include with the article the words © Copyright and prominently display a link to our main page at the end of the article. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to brian@thegaylovecoach.com. Thank you!

About the Author

Brian Rzepczynski holds a Master's degree in Social Work and is a Certified Personal Life Coach. He has a coaching practice,The Gay Love Coach, in which he works with gay men on developing skills for improving their dating lives and relationships. He publishes a monthly ezine called "The Man 4 Man Plan" and is also the co-author of the self-help book "A Guide to Getting It: Purpose & Passion", published in May 2005.

Tags: chemical addition, addictions, food disorders, sex, stop smoking

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Five Tips to De-stress Your Life
Copyright 2005 Kathy Paauw
I recently received this e-mail message about stress management (author unknown)…
————————
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."
"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. "In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."
————————-
What burden can you put down to help you reduce stress? Notice that I did not ask if you had stress. I assume you do. The question is, what are you doing to manage or reduce it?
I’ll bet that you can identify something generating stress in your life right now that you've been carrying for a while … something that was probably stressing you a month ago, or even a year ago. So what are you prepared to do about it? Here are five tips to help you reduce stress.
1. Identify what is burdening you right now. What do you hate about your life? What are you tolerating? By stating what you hate or are putting up with in your present circumstances, you can then identify what you want. As you answer this question, consider each of the categories mentioned below. Make a thorough list and be specific. This list is for your eyes only, so spill onto paper whatever you hate about your present circumstances, without trying to sugar-coat how you are feeling. Here are some examples:
* Relationships: I hate feeling like I always have to be right. I hate how my son never wants to spend time with me.
* Health & Wellness: I hate being 20 pounds overweight. I hate getting so out-of-breath when I take the stairs. I hate that I am so stressed that I cannot fall asleep at night.
* Financial Health: I hate how I always defer my tax returns because I am so disorganized with my financial records. I hate how many tax deductions I forfeit because of my lousy record-keeping practices.
* Environment: I hate how my office is cluttered with piles of paper. I hate that I waste so much time looking for things. I hate how much money I waste because I have to buy something I have but cannot find. I hate that I cannot park my car in the garage because of all the junk stored in there.
* Work: I hate regularly working past 5 PM and on

the weekends.
2. Deal with unresolved issues. Is there something in your past that you have not dealt with – psychological barriers, untreated disorders, unfinished business from your childhood, unresolved relationships, addictions, or depression? If so, seek professional assistance to clear a path for a new beginning. Without first dealing with these obstacles, you may sabotage your efforts or find major resistance to making the changes you desire.
3. De-clutter and create order. Creating order in your home and work environment may help you to gain clarity as you explore the horizon of some new directions in other areas of your life. Here's my definition of clutter: Anything you own, possess, or do that does not enhance your life on a regular basis. It’s hard to make room for something new amidst all the clutter … whether that clutter exists in your physical environment, on your calendar, or in your head.
4. Move from complaints to solutions. Look at your list of things you hate (above), and design a vision around what you want and choose for the future. Create a chart that includes the complaints, solutions to achieve your vision, and projected dates of completion.
Tried everything and still cannot find a solution? Ask someone else to help you brainstorm a solution, or make peace with it and quit thinking of it as a problem.
Eliminate excuses that are undermining your vision. For example, if you feel like you have to work late, examine the excuses that are undermining your desire to leave the office by 5 PM. Are you staying late to catch up with e-mail or to meet deadlines? How can you eliminate the excuse? Build in time to handle those activities during regular work hours.
Commit time to take positive action. Carve out protected time for working on an important project that would otherwise not get done until the 11th hour (after hours or on the weekend). For large projects, break them into smaller "bite-sized" projects.
5. Get support as you change behaviors. In order to create new behaviors which will get and keep you at the enhanced level at which you wish to function, you may need support. An accountability partner or personal coach can help you:
* Reflect back what you say you want so you can hear yourself.
* Clarify what it will take to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
* Build in accountability check-ins (without judgment) around the actions you choose to take.
Identify the level of support you need in order to reach the goals you've identified, and then ask for help.

About the Author

Wouldn’t you love to stumble upon a secret library of ideas to help you de-clutter your life so you can focus on what’s most important? Kathy Paauw offers simple, yet powerful ideas, on how to manage your time, space, and thoughts for a more productive and fulfilling life. Visit http://www.orgcoach.net.

Tags: gambling, drug and alcohol, sex, drug and alcohol addiction, drugs

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Emotional Baggage

We all have them. It has many faces. We carry them around us, We store them in the remotest part of our brain, in the deepest chambers of our hearts.We have them in our extensive database of memories. Some are so close to the heart, it brings out tears at the slightest provocation. Others may feel anger, very deep resentments and may exhibit anti-social or antagonistic behaviours .
Shadows follow and haunt many, in their dreams or waking hours, in unlikely places, unexpected and intimidating Uncontrollable anger that can lead to violence can explode without warning.
Others will live in denial and spend their lives disconnected with the real world. Some will find blame in everyone except themselves; it’s always the other person’s fault. What about victims and the victimizers?
Many are lost searching for something, they can not identify. Something is missing. A mass of lonely faces line the crowded streets, sit in public places, in schools, agonize through the day in the workplace , gather at churches perhaps to seek solace. Everyday. we see a vast sea of sad , depressed and unfriendly faces. Our roads are open avenues to lash out their frustrations, thus uncontollable road rage. Scary.
Emotional excess baggage demands a high price. There are those who succumb to the weight of this burden, it gets too much to bear. They find no further reason to keep up the fight. Life loses its lustre, they find the world cruel, their existence meaningless.To them, the fight over, if there ever was one.
There are many who go through life like driftwood , let the current take them wherever, it does not matter anymore. Is our world this cruel?
What causes these emotional suffering?
Broken dreams, broken relationships, failed careers, lost hopes, betrayals, violations, childhood trauma, or other forms of trauma ,add

to this health issues. Social disgrace, financial disasters, poverty and addictions cast deep emotional scars to the most vulnerable members of the family and society.
Is our fast-paced society to blame? Add to this the pursuit of material success, endless toys,gadgets and exponential advances in technology. Fragile relationships, weakening family ties, unreasonable expectations of self and of others add to the already overstuffed emotionalbaggage .Some carry them for a long, long time.
All is not lost, if we take a moment to listen to our deeper needs, beyond the physical . There is a flood of information, organizations, professionals and other resources most communities offer. Deep emotional suffering is a critical issue that can no longer be ignored, by society and by those who suffer. There is more to life.
Wisdom of the ages from different cultures, and beliefs are revived or revised to suit the present psyche of society. It offers a holistic approach , involving the whole person’s mind, body and spirit.
The wonders of medical and scientific research are vast, although pill-popping is not always the best answer.
Take stock of the weight of your emotional baggage. Healing is open to those who embrace it.

About the Author: Bonnie Moss writes about spirituality, tools available to all to walk the path. Visit her website , a metaphysical site that offers information on tarot, crystals, aura, journalling and related topics. She offers guidance and counselling through the insight of tarot. Visit her website http://goldencupcafe.tripod.com Source: www.isnare.com

Tags: chemical addition, shopping, sex, food disorders, addictions

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Eight Fitness Tips For The Combat Realist
Forget being the toughest guy on the planet. It's pretty easy for
martial artists to adopt complacency and begin to rest on their laurels.
Not you? Well, if the circumference of your waist is large enough to hide
the knot of your black belt, this article may be for you. Even if you are
in top condition, read on if you want to look lean and feel your best as a
combat warrior. I'll make it real easy for you. I promise you won't have
to execute ten thousand kicks or hold a sword over your head while standing
on broken glass. Lets face it; you'll never stick to your work out plan if
it reminds you of torture. So, instead, I'll give you eight simple
instructions designed to maximize your combat performance while maintaining
good health and longevity. I've managed to remain fit after three decades
in the martial arts and you can do the same.
Tip. #1
Warm up with slow motion exercise and speed up gradually as you loosen
up. This process has become more important as I've gotten older. Before
and after an exercise session, you should perform a general stretch routine
to help break up adhesions and feed the muscles with blood to help speed
recovery. The combination of flexibility and strength together will make a
significant difference in effecting your technical performance. As strength
training builds muscle it limits the overall range of motion. Stretching
can counter this effect by limbering up muscles as they become larger.
Tip. #2
It may be necessary to reshape your attitude and perspective. In our
cravings for perfection, we sometimes place a heavy emphasis on rank,
titles, or goals that don't necessarily relate to meaningful life-goals.
Aim higher at achieving a sense of over-all health and self esteem in
addition to competitive rigors. It's easy to avoid what is necessary to
take care of yourself and to take short cuts. Martial arts are a
discipline, which should compliment your lifestyle of fitness and long life.
Instead of rationalizing your un-healthy choices or using past
accomplishments as an excuse for not making the effort, take responsibility
for yourself. In other words, exercise accountability.
Tip. #3
Martial arts are generally not the most efficient aerobic activity.
This is primarily because as you get better at it, you learn to pace
yourself during the execution of moves.
Stacked against other aerobic exercises, martial arts activity scores low
because the practitioner is usually not in constant motion. So, change that
by engaging in non-stop aerobic exercise for 30 minutes at least three times
a week. Your heart will love you. To avoid boredom and gain maximum
calorie burning, try to diversify your sessions every week or two. In
violent conditions, normal breathing is altered which can adversely affect
your performance. Good conditioning is not only beneficial for your
physical well-being, but also reduces panic, distress, and anxiety.
Tip. #4
I know it may be hard for all you young readers to believe, but in my
day it was frowned upon by masters to combine weight training with martial
arts. The 60's and 70's are behind us now and well-researched weight
training has become an important tool for thousands of world-class athletes.
Remember, exercise increases physical reserve. You may need to call upon
that reserve in a life-threatening encounter. Conduct intense weight
training exercises such as the barbell curl, tricep extension, bench press,
etc., for 30 minutes to an hour, two or three times a week. Consider
exercises that target the internal and external obliques such as torso
twists and weighted crunches. It's these abdominal muscles that help you
change direction quickly during grappling, increase kicking power, and help
absorb the impact of a blow. When you lift weights, you tear myofibrils,
the tiny sinews of tissue that make up the muscles.

It takes a couple of
days for muscles to repair themselves and it's during that period that you
actually become stronger. You don't have to be a mad man when you work out,
just remember to work furiously with little rest between exercises while
conducting each move with precision and good technique. Gym's are great,
but make sure to develop routines that provide a workout without specialized
equipment so that you can remain fit when your on the road or can't make it
to a facility. Push-ups, crunches, and chair dips are high on the list.
Tip. #5
Every martial artist knows that practice makes perfect. Depending on
your goals, the trick to performing well as a technician is to retain
worthwhile combat strategies via repetitive practice until they become
natural instinctive reactions. In English; good technique + practice,
practice, practice = skill. The benefits of being well rounded and active
are going to contribute to your overall fitness but won't be enough to keep
the fat off. It's true; physique does not make a good martial artist. That
's why we see so many porky masters who are pretty tough. However, if you
want peak performance you'll need to take off excess flab. Reducing weight
is by far the easy phase in weight control. Eat less, exercise more, and
wallah! However, maintaining ones target weight is the tough phase. This
is achieved with a sustained life style program. Once this is established,
you'll wonder what life was like without it. More muscle and less flab will
translate into improved fighting prowess, a better instructor image, and a
happier you.
Tip #6
The accepted regimen these days is to eat a fist full of food, six
times a day. That is, a chicken breast, yogurt, or whatever, in portions
about the size of that lethal knuckle sandwich of yours. For each body
pound, consume approximately ten calories, one gram of protein, one gram of
carbohydrates, and at least .6 oz of water. In all, you'll be eating six
small meals that contain about 200 - 400 calories each depending on your
weight and drinking lots of water (almost a gallon). Of course, restrict
your fat intake and remember your multivitamin just in case your diet doesn'
t give you what you need. You may not feel any different taking a
multivitamin but believe me; your body will make good use of it. I focus on
taking my carbs in the morning when I need the energy. My protein is
consumed after workouts, and I avoid eating late at night.
Tip #7
Relaxation is the key to optimum performance in martial arts. Rest and
work compliment each other. Do yourself and your body a favor and rest.
You need the down time for peace of mind and your muscles need time to grow
and recover between workouts.
Tip #8
Work on yourself from the inside. Avoid addictions and general bad
behavior. There are few things as ugly as a martial artist who lacks
character. It wouldn't hurt for you to consider some personal
introspection. In fact, being a better person can relieve stress and help
you feel a whole lot better. Exercise can make a difference too. I believe
that these primary influences will ease tension and stimulate creative
thinking and overall alertness.
That's it. In time, you'll bump up your metabolism, burn fat, think
more clearly, build muscle mass, and perform better at your art. What more
could you want? Well, okay, you have me there. But if you genuinely want
to see some results, I encourage you to stick with these tips for a few
weeks and make the improvements that I know you deserve.

About the Author

Robert Bussey is one of America's pioneers of martial arts, Ninjutsu, and
reality based personal protection. His lifelong commitment to his work has
made a significant contribution to the stream of strategic practices
throughout the world. He can be reached at: http://www.busseystyle.com

Tags: drug and alcohol addiction, drugs, drug and alcohol, shopping, sex

Informative Articles

Drug And Alcohol Rehab
Although it isn’t something most people talk about or even want to think about, drug and alcohol rehab are places that exist because of such an unfortunately high prevalence of a number of different addictions in society. In fact, so many people are having to deal with some sort of drug and alcohol rehab in their personal lives that a new reality show called “Intervention” is being shown to educate people on how difficult living with an addict can be and the way to direct a person toward rehabilitation. Drug and alcohol rehab serves a single purpose for any addicted person and that is to help this person to stop using the drug or drugs that they are dependent on.
There are a variety of ways that drug and alcohol rehab work to help a person stop abusing a controlled substance. One way is commonly referred to as ‘cold turkey’. This is where a person experiences the complete and abrupt discontinued of all addictive drugs or anything else on which they have become dependent. This type of drug and alcohol rehab often results in something called withdrawal that is often very unpleasant with side effects including vomiting, hot and cold flashes, hallucinations, paranoia, insomnia and other uncomfortable and sometimes frightening effects. Going cold turkey from barbiturates can be very serious and might lead to seizures that could become deadly. Alcoholics that stop drinking suddenly can cause delirium tremens, which is a type of psychosis.
There are other options available for rehabilitation at drug and alcohol rehab without having to go ‘cold turkey’. Some types of addictions have drugs that can be administered by a doctor in a drug and alcohol rehab facility that can lessen the common symptoms of withdrawal that would occur without assistance. Another option at many drug and alcohol

rehab facilities is a program designed to help a patient to change his or her behavioral patterns in order to equip them with skills so that they have other actions to turn to when they are tempted to return to drugs or alcohol. Additionally, it is strongly recommended that anyone who is going through drug and alcohol rehab cease all communication and cut ties with anyone who is still using their substance of choice.
There are a number of different dependencies that can be treated at drug and alcohol rehab. Some of these dependencies that are treated include alcoholism, addiction to household products that can be inhaled, street drugs, prescription drugs and any combination of the aforementioned addictions. Sometimes a drug and rehab visit is a court ordered result of an arrest based on charges involving one or more of these different dependencies.
The most common program associated with drug and alcohol rehab is called a Twelve-Step program. The purpose of a Twelve-Step program is to help addicts to find the strength and will power to stop using their substance of choice as well as explore and alter bad habits that are connected to their addictions. The goal of all types of drug and alcohol rehab programs is to eliminate all dependencies and to help every individual begin fresh with a full and rewarding life.

About the Author: Brandon is the webmaster and owner of " Quality-Drug-And-Alcohol-Rehab.com" and has been researching and reporting on acne solutions for years. Click Here ==> http://www.quality-drug-and-alcohol-rehab.com/ Source: www.isnare.com

Tags: chemical addition, smoking, stop smoking, compulsive behavior, gambling

Informative Articles

Drug Addiction Treatment Centers: A Fresh Start
You have permission to publish this article electronically
or in print, free of charge, as long as the resource box is
included, and you do not take credit as the author. You must
send a courtesy copy of your publication or a website link
to, recoveryresources@gmail.com . Note: This article has
been formatted to 60 CLI.
Drug Addiction Treatment Centers: A Fresh Start
Half a decade ago, I started working on a hotline to help
addicts and their families find drug addiction treatment
centers. Thousands of calls later, I still remember the
first time I picked up the line. I could hardly make out
what the woman on the other end was saying to me. Shelly
(not her real name) was sobbing. She had just arrived at her
father's apartment and had found him passed out cold on the
couch with a needle still sticking out of his arm. Why she
called our line instead of 9-1-1 was a mystery. I called for
an ambulance and waited on the phone with her until they
arrived. She told me how her father had been a construction
worker, though his dream was to play guitar in a band.
Shelly said her parents split up when she was thirteen
because of her dad's drinking. He moved away to live in
another state for a couple of years and they began to lose
touch. He would send the occasional card or make a call on
her birthday the first couple of years, but that eventually
ended. After college, Shelly decided to find her dad. It
turned out that he had moved back and was living just a
couple of miles from where she grew up. Somewhere along the
way, he had picked up a heroin habit. Shelly tried to talk
him into going to treatment, but he always had an excuse for
why he couldn't. Shelly said she visited him weekly, helped
him keep his apartment up, bought his groceries and kept
after him to quit. She said she they had just talked the
night before and that he had, for the first time, agreed to
try treatment. On my end, I could hear the ambulance
approaching and then a knock on the door. Shelly

hung up and
I never heard from her again.
Today in America, there are 13 million people in need of
alcohol or drug addiction treatment. Fortunately, according
the government, there are just over 13,000 drug addiction
treatment centers waiting to help these individuals. It may
have been too late for Shelly's dad, I don't know, but I do
know that it is not too late for anyone who is looking for a
drug addiction treatment center today.
Each year millions of people across America, enter treatment
centers. For many, this marks a fresh start, a rebirth. It
is an opportunity to rebuild broken relationships and broken
lives. Those who successfully complete rehab join a recovery
community that is already millions strong. This article,
intended to be one in a three part series, is dedicated to
addicts and family members of addicts who are searching for
answers. Its goal the series is to help those suffering from
drug abuse and/or their loved ones to make informed choices
when entering drug addiction treatment.
I invite you to join me over the next couple of weeks as
these articles explore the different types of treatment
settings and then how to find the right treatment center for
you or a loved one. In the end, I am confident that combined
with careful research of what makes good treatment and by
following your own intuition; you or a loved one can begin a
new life.
David Westbrook is a freelance writer. He has spent several
years talking to thousands of addicts and their families who
are in search of drug addiction treatment centers. He
invites you to visit his websites
www.addictionsresources.com and www.alcoholismresources.com
Approximately 593 words © 2005

About the Author

David Westbrook is a freelance writer. He has spent several
years talking to thousands of addicts and their families who
are in search of drug addiction treatment centers. He
invites you to visit his websites
www.addictionsresources.com and www.alcoholismresources.com

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